Friday, September 7, 2007

Beef Malarthiyathu..

Well quite late to update this blog as I was on a diet for the last 7-8 months. During this fasting period I skipped my 10 am coffee and 3 pm glass of water off my regular diet...Needless to say I held strong and the fasting was followed religiously which helped me shed .005 gram in the last one year. To celebrate this breaking off the fast I decided to make some nice “beef malarthiyathu”...

I was itching to make something, which would have a naadan flavor...Fortunately after years of experimenting on guinea pigs called my roommates I managed to make something that was edible…

Beef Malarthiyathu cooked using the principles of ayurveda is for the health conscious. I have used techniques handed over generations from Josephettan of karimpumkala kallu shaappu to make this culinary delight. . Just kidding man...

Well how to make this?? A 20 minute job I ll say... Cut the meat (500 gm) into cubes and marinate it with meat Masala (guys don’t confuse it with desi Masala and stuff). Pressure-cook it without adding any water or salt and after 2 whistles taking it off.

Now in a separate vessel heat two tables spoon of oil and drop a pinch of mustard and wait till they make those silly tickling sounds. Add a cup of sliced onions and green chilies (2-3) along with thengaa kothu…when the onions are half fried add a teaspoon of ginger garlic paste. And after say a minute, add curry leaves along with coriander powder (half teaspoon), chilly powder (quarter teaspoon) and some pepper powder (quarter teaspoon)...Allow it to sauté until the entire stuff looks like a fine blend and then add the cooked meat into it. Mix the entire stuff as if your life depends on it. Add more meat Masala if required and salt as necessary. Add water just enough for it get cooked.

Now here comes the trick, which most people don’t reveal…beef malarthiyathu tastes good only if it is over fried... so when the Masala starts sticking to the bottom and you get the nauseating smell, turn a blind eye to it or well here, turn a close nose to it...wait for a minute or two and then add a little water say 2-3 teaspoon and scrape out all what is sticking in the bottom. Mix the whole thing again and then you get the authentic dark brown color which otherwise u never gonna get..

Delicious beef malarthiyathu is ready to eat...A glass of beer and some sliced onion dipped in lemon is the perfect appetizer for this calorie-fat bomb…
Statutory Warning

  • Folks abroad who try this dish make sure the exhaust fan is running otherwise am sure you will invite the police home... The smell of masala’s is easily mistaken as poison gas/terrorist attack etc etc in the west.

  • ‘Navarasa’s’ on the face of the consumer can be safely ignored. But if he/she is in a ‘savasana’ pose for more than three hours after consumption please call 911


  • Cutting onions are the most difficult part. Take help of woman folk at home who missed the tearjerker serial of the day. They will be more than happy to do it for you…

  • If someone asks you whether the dish is healthy. Push him/her over the window or throw chilly powder in the eyes.


silverine said...

Hilarious! :))

A humor cook blog!! This has to be a first. Well written!!

ap said...

Speaking of neighbours in West..
Some of my friends who were regular cooks had a neighbour,who used to post notices on their front doors, telling them to stop cooking !!!!!!!

david santos said...

Thanks for posting, Mathew!
Very good work.
Have good weekend

Anonymous said...

ithu adipoli...let me try this tomorrow (if wife allows) that is :-)


mathew said...

thanks.. :)

I do get ocassional knocks from neighbour..but then pretend that I dont understand what they say.. ;-P


Let me advice..there are times when you might get angry at your wife..but that doesnt mean that this has to be may not be even forgiven for this..there are ways out..;-P

veruthaei ithu ondaaki kolam aakenno..hehehe..

crumbs said...

u make that sound like a piece of cake- finishing one that is, not making one!!this could be seriously misleading for culinarily challenged folks :D
good stuff mate!

Sona - quick picks/pick quicks said...

hi Mathew,
its was really interesting reading ur blog...u rock!!!..and hey!. its news to me that the Ayurveda gives tips on cooking beef!!!!...I'm afraid, my late grand-father who was an Ayur-doc skipped(missed)those pages in the "thaali-oola"

Abhi said...

Tip of the day was

"Meat Masala (guys don’t confuse it with desi Masala and stuff)"

Totally awesome! Nice recipe too! I was tempted with this, but then i decided to just WATCH it and stick to the DIET frm Silverine. Its having its effects you know!

silverine said...

@Abhi: Attaboy!! You can do it!!
"Do or Die" is the motto of the Silverine Miracle Diet ®!


harimohan said...

wonderful mathew
for me living alone in UAE it is a try indeed ,
the blog is great for humour congrats enjoyd it

mathew said...

The state of the art lab always gives 1 success in 10000 attempts..what are the odds.. ;-P

@kitchen scientist
oops...oh yeah they censored it those days..but my research says its true.. ;-P

fellow scientist..thanks for dropping by..

have u ever thought about the consequences of the silverine diet.just think about disintegration bones..holes in the stomach..plz try these recipies..I guarantee you wont say a word you maynot even last till that.. ;-P

Please dont influence my valuable customers.. ;-P

someone telling that he is goin to try it out is the final nail in the coffin..I swear I wont pay insurance eh..;-P

thanks for dropping by..

Mishmash ! said...

‘Navarasa’s’ on the face of the consumer can be safely ignored. But if he/she is in a ‘savasana’ pose for more than three hours after consumption please call 911"

This morning I had a double dose of humour from your latest two posts. Btw, I have been hearing a lot about this karimpumkala kallu shaappu recently...i should tell my hubby...he can get intoxicated and I can enjoy the food :D Is it near Kottayam?

PS. Beef Malarthiyathu(I cant believe I am writing this!!)looks really should make it once for us :)

Abhi said...

@Mathew n Silverine-Am still tryin. Thanks to a Chennai trip and the adorable weather over ther, i've cut 3-4 kgs already from my 90+ frame!

Shella said...

HI Mathew

The beef malarthiyathu brings "vellam to may vaaya"!!! It looks gorgeous. BTW, what does the word mala......mean?? I am sorry but never heard of it beore, is it a place or a method of cooking??

Naveen Prabhu said...

you sure have a knack of tickling the funny bone .... truly adipoli ...:)

Pooja Na(i)rayan said...

HAHAHAHA .............................................
You should write a recipe book. You will really make cooking fun.

Sona - quick picks/pick quicks said...

Hi mathew, kurae naalayalloo beef malarthiyadichittu , no updates, yet?

Pravs said...

hahahah.. you are so funny !!! what a humorous way of cooking. Great tips..will keep that in mind when i try this recipe :)

Anonymous said...

Hey Mathew..

Such a wonderful post..Keep up the good work..