Sunday, July 6, 2008

Please beer with this beef!!

If wine was French, beer was German and noodles were Chinese what could Beef fry be then!!!

Yes. It’s Kottayamese!!

Beef fry is like the national food of every achayan….While in other parts of the country security is always increased, in kottayam it’s always 'beefed up'!! And it also explains the famous achayans 'belieef' in themselves!!

While beef is a taboo word elsewhere in the country it is probably given a reverential status in this part of the state…Local authorities say the average happiness of a kottayamkaaran is linked to the beef consumption of the district….Scarcity of petrol and vegetables doesn’t affect this part of the state…but beef, Jeez it would be like the Cuban missile crisis!!

Any Christian function without beef fry is like a Sanjay Leela Bhansali movie without gold. There was this marriage where the groom did not make it. But it was not until the chef told the bride’s dad that the beef from “Paulose yeracchi kada” did not arrive was the marriage called off!! Tragedies “beefall” at the cruelest times...

History students in schools embraced Christianity since the teachers always taught this about the calendar…

Tell me children what is expansion of B.C?

“Beef for Christ!!”

Poor kids thought they were fighting for own cause…Well it did ofcoz influence people “spiritually” as it was critical to have this “thottunakkaan” with “challaas” for any self respecting kallu koodiyan…It cuts across all class barriers as even the richest estate owning achayan wouldn’t dare have a glass of chivas regal without this classic fry.

Well why I say all this is coz, I recently had a knowledge transfer from mom on how real beef fry is made…


1) 800gms beef sliced in cubes+200 grams liver (this supposedly compensates for loss of liver content in human body for you know whom )
2) 4 Big onions thinly sliced
3) 1 inch piece of crushed ginger
4) 1 teaspoon garlic paste
5) Beef masala powder 4-5 teaspoons(I got it from home(a brand called sevana))
6) ½ teaspoon chilli powder
7) ¾ teaspoon pepper powder
8) Curry leaves
9) A few bay leaves
10) Sliced bits of coconut
11) Garam masala (home made the better)

After heating oil on the pan crack mustard seeds add ingredients 2) ,3), 4), 8), 9) and 10)
Sauté it in low flame until the onions are transparent and the raw smell goes.
Now take the pan away from the flame and add ingredients 5) 6) and 7). Be careful that the masala doesn’t get burnt and keep stirring till the raw smell goes.
Now add the meat along with sufficient salt and a little oil over it.
Mix the whole stuff in the pan until the masala is coated evenly over the meat.
Now add a pinch of garam masala and mix the whole thing again.
Transfer the whole thing to a pressure cooker along with half a cup water and cook it for 3-4 whistles.(The number of whistle depends on texture of meat)

Allow the beef to dry in the pressure cooker by further heating if any water is still left.

This is the real beef fry and taste best with sliced onion dipped in vinegar.

Oh wait I have to attend a "Beefthoven memorial symphony"... cya later!! ;-P