In ancient times amongst suriyani Christian families in kottayam, homes with girls of marriageable age would look for certain prized catches…Well talking of prized grooms, it would be guys who could successfully devour that hardest and most intricate piece of fish during the pennu kaanal* lunch …The ladies at the bride’s home would cook it the day before in richest and spiciest of all spices…On the doomsday. I mean the D-day…the most complex piece of the fish head would be served exclusively for the groom’s plate…it marks the beginning of an epic battle.
The air is tense on that day…even the cats don’t meoooow…forget that they have competition here.
All eyes are trained on the boy and the fish...The fiery fish curry and the quest. Both unbearably HOT!
The bell rings in the nearby parish church...The ammachis at home are reciting the kontha (rosary) in murmurs.... Appachan is talking in hushed manner with the other karnavars…
The bride’s cousins are already gossiping in the other room…
‘WILL HE MAKE IT?’
The guy would be thinking of the years of practice and training he had gone through…karimpumkala shaap**…. He graduated from the best Ivy League F-school (its not what you think.)…The long sessions over a school of fish and kallu…
Yes … the real battle is what matters…The girl’s appachan is an old fox…He got the best possible piece in town…
It is simply too nauseating for the groom’s mother too…In hushed tones she asks her husband.
‘Achaayo…nammalude mon pass aavo…’ (Will our son clear the test?)
Achayan doesn’t like last minute jitters and in a harsh tone...’hmmph…THRESIAAKUTTY!!’
They all sit down at the dining table. Children are told to leave. It is all going to be adult material in there.
Like the man who loved to revel in big stage, the groom dissects the meen thala*** with Lecterisque ease…The gory cries...
The fish brain ease out of the skull due to the huge vacuum created by the skilled fighter’s labial suction.
Meanwhile the umpire Perappans and Appachens are mentally noting the points…they will sit down and tally em in the end…
They examine the kill ...Antonychen’s Power 10 glasses don’t lie after all...They seem to be talking in professional lingo....’ eemballu...meeninte andharkadaakam….’
Was he too fast…Is there any puli (tamarind) sediments still left?
Does the cranium now look like the dinosaur head we saw in Jurassic park?
Did the boy drink a glass of water after that? *Well he is sissy if he did that*
Many question…It was the battle de mother of the pennu kaanal chadangu…Much much harder than Arjuna did with that reflection on pool archery trick…
The girl is simply wondering… Does that guy deserve me?
Last time Johnychayan from kozhencherry was thrown out of home because he had hidden sugar cubes in his mouth…Or Kunjoose who tried to bring his own fish skeleton super cleaned with some ‘safedi ka chamkaar powder’…but that unfortunately got stuck in his trouser pocket…14 stitches is what it took.
WILL MATHAIKUTTY MAKE IT…??
The question that Thavalakuzhi and Mutathupadi family awaits.
After a few minutes the warrior was escorted to the living room…
Mathaikutty is tense...and tired…He is given a glass of brandy for mild relief…
The judges huddled in another room for brainstorming…Gossips run around the kitchens…
Mathaikutty was too loud !!…Mathaikutty was too brusque !!…. Mathaikutty was sweating !!
His friend from Calicut Meenchantha rings his mobile.
’edaa…did you make it’
‘Wow…I can’t believe you …’
‘Pray for me...’
The doors creak…The jury is coming out…Crowds gather around chief judge 96 year old Annamma chedathi
‘Hello everyone…calm down ...please calm down’
‘I the chief matriarch of Thavalakuzhi family declare Mathaikutty has cleared the practical for eating our fish curry with CMM level 5 standards’
‘Vakkacha...Kariacha…Thankacha…Mercy...Susy...Gracy…everyone...We have found the right groom for Meency…Now that the major chadangu is over…LETS FIX THE DATES!!’
*Ceremony of visiting the girl’s house before marriage
**The best fish and toddy shop back home
*** Fish head